What is Love? ❤️🖤❤️🖤

Love.


This is such a hard post for me to share, but it’s weighting on my heart so much lately. So here I go…

What is Love & am I deserving of it? I’ve always struggled with it my whole life. I’ve always been told be confident you have something to offer someone. I have never really believed in myself. We are always told that we don’t need anyone to believe in us but we have ourself, but what if we do need someone to believe in us? Why is it such a flaw to need love & need someone to believe in us?

To me love is showing someone by your actions that you care & you are there for them. Not just because you say it or you buy them “things” all the time! I want to do things without the person having to ask me or going out of my way to do something for them, or write them a note! These small & big things are so appreciated! I can say that because I truly appreciate these things!

Most people will not understand how I feel or why I struggle & that’s ok. I’m thankful not everyone has gone through such a dark time as I have. 

When I turned 19 I got my second job & started to make “friends” that I though were there for me. I was told that I should try to lose weight & alter how I looked. Mind you I only weighted between 125 & 130 & was 5’5. Now that I look back at pictures I am sad that I was so skinny & unhealthy. So to fit in & listen to the bad advice of my “friends” I started skipping meals & if I ate to much I’d through it up. 

Thankful because my mom stepped in & pushed for me to eat & be healthy I got over it. I felt to be loved that I had to be skinny & unhealthy. To this day I still struggle with my weight. 

This month weights on me because it is suicide prevention month. By the age of twenty one I struggled with feeling loved & accepted. So I tried committing suicide multiple times. I tried over dosing on pills & someone found me & took me to the doctors. Needless to say God had a plan with my life because I’m still here. 

I still to this day have my struggles. It’s been put in my head hat I don’t deserve love or I’m not good enough to be loved or what do I do to deserve love. As girls we get told we are crazy for wanting to be loved or have someone be committed to us, but hats not true & maybe we give more love then some people deserve because we have a longing to be desired & loved. 

I’ve heard it all & that’s my flaw of letting those words pierce my heart & wound me. I allow myself to question my existence & my worth. I am worth something though & I have started to realize this. I am here to show people I have survived & that you can overcome something even if it’s one day at a time!

Do not be afraid to ask for support or admit you need help. Your life is important & I’m still learning just that! The journey & the trials & good times are all worth it in the end to discover that, so don’t give up! You are loved!

I am thankful for my parents & sister because they have encouraged me in every way that they can. I am thankful that I married a man that tries to go out of his way & show me love. 

It’s hard because I know people can be judgemental about my past or that I even struggle & that causes me anxiety so bad! I know that it’s worth it if I can just help or encourage one person. All lives matter! ❤️

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Hot Dog! 

I’m not a very big hot dog fan, but I try to switch it up for my husband. He wanted Brätwurst so I made some for my husband over the weekend. 

I got all Beef Brätwurst & wrapped them with the bacon. I seasoned the bacon with paprika and a little sprinkle of brown sugar. I cooked it for a little while & then pulled it out & let it drain off & then cooked the Brätwurst in bacon grease to give it a little bit of flavor. Then I wrapped the Brätwurst in the bacon & cooked them in the oven on 350 until the bacon was cooked completely. 

Then I heated up beanless chili & I flour coated and fried jalapeño slices & added some shredded cheese. On mine I added sour cream before the chili and it kept it all on my Brätwurst! I must say it was so good! We will definitely be having it again! 

Dog cookies anyone? 

Our dog is so sensitive to different foods! So it’s always something when buying him treats. My mom had found some cookies for her dogs who have similar problems & sent some home for our dog (Otis) to try. 

Let me just say we found a winner in these dog cookies! Finally! They are all natural ingredients made here in the U.S. too. 

When Otis eats these he doesn’t even let one crumb hit the ground that’s how much he likes them! If anyone is looking for a all natural & American made treat for their pups I recommend these without hesitation! You can get them at Walmart for under $8! It’s a little more then 50 cookies & comes in a two pack with two different flavors. 

Chicke, rice & pineapple 

I needed some quick & easy today as it was a busy day for our household. So I made chicken & rice with pineapple. 

I cubed up the chicken & seasoned it & cooked it in butter! Below is a picture of the seasonings that I used & I used a teaspoon of each. 


While that was cooking I made the rice in my rice cooker. One cup of white rice & one cup of water. 

Next I put a teaspoon of butter in another pan & cooked the pineapple until it had a nice Carmel coloring. 


Then I mixed everything together. To add some color to the plate I added sliced tomatoes with dressing & some pepper flacks & green beans cooked in soy sauce. 

It completed the dish perfectly & tasted marvelous! Perfect quick lunch for today! 

Steak & pineapple

Hey guys! 

So I made this recipe a while back but forgot to post it. I made Steak, pineapple, small potatoes with herbs & a side salad with home made ranch & green olives!

My husband only eats chicken, beef & fish so I have to be creative to switch the flavors & meals up. 

Pineapple has been one of my favorite ingredients lately & it’s weird because as a kid I didn’t like pineapple that much & now I love it!! 

So for this recipe I cooked Milanese cut steak (which is my favorite!) and seasoned it with some paprika & cooked it in yup you guessed it butter! I topped the steak in pineapple that I pan fried in its own juice. 

For the potatoes I sautéed them in butter with some garlic & an Italian seasoning blend. They were so tasty & so much flavor! 

Then I made a side salad, which I cheated this time & bought a package salad & then added some tomatoes & green olives to it. I didn’t add to much of the green olives, but just enough for a little salty flavor. Then topped it with the ranch which I have the recipe on another post. 

This makes for a tasty, beautiful yet simple meal & I always make enough so I have leftovers to send to work with my husband. He enjoyed it the first time & even the second time around! 

I hope you enjoy it too if you try it!! Xo- C

Homemade Take Out


Hey guys!

Recently I quit my job so I’m trying to figure some stuff out & budget our finances correctly. I love Chinese food, but we all know it can get expensive & some aren’t always the healthiest for you! 

I decided to try to make my own. So I totally winged it and made my own! I made chicken fried rice & then I made beef & noodles. 

For the rice I took a sauce pan and melted about a tablespoon of butter ( I know butter it fattening, but I prefer the taste & richness of it over oils). Then I added some green onions ( 1 bunch) soy sauce (1 tablespoon) & garlic powder (1 1/2 teaspoons). 


I let these ingredients sauté for just a few minutes. While they were sautéing I cubed up my chicken. Then I put it in the pan because I wanted it to cook in those nice flavors & to soak it up while it was cooking. 


I made white rice in my rice cooker. I prefer brown rice, but my husband prefers white. So I mix it up as a compromise one time I buy white & make meals & other times I buy brown & make meals. I actually had made it the night before so that was one less thing to do!

After the chicken was done cook I then added 3 eggs with soy sauce in them that I whisked into the pain & started to cook them & then I added the rice & 1 tablespoon of butter just to keep everything moist. 

I let that cook & then moved on to my noodles! By this time my mouth was watering big time! So I got another pan out and I put 1 tablespoon butter & 1/4 c brown sugar, 1 bundle of green onions, 2 cloves garlic, 2 tablespoons of soy sauce & 1 teaspoon of garlic powder.  


I let these ingredients sauté while I cubed my Milanese style steak. I seasoned it with paprika (which is my favorite spice!). Then after cubing it I put my udon noodles into the pan. I buy the prepackaged but I don’t use the seasons packet. 


I used two packets for this dish. I let those cook for about 1-2 minutes and then I take them out & set them aside & then I added my meat & cooked it for about 5 minutes. 


After that I put the noodles back in & now both of my dishes are done! Now it may seem like it took a long time, but it didn’t because I made both dishes at the same time. With prep & cooking & cleaning up it took less then a half hour for me to make these & they were both so delicious! 

I definitely enjoyed making a healthier cheaper version of take out! I hope that you guys do too! 

PO’BOYS

For my husbands birthday he requested PO’BOYS. He loves these sandwiches & thanks to Guy Fieri’s amazing recipe he got what he wanted! 

This recipe is so easy to do but the flavors are amazing! I found the recipe in the June 2016 issue of Food Network Magazine. I am so glad I did too! So here is the recipe guys! 

1/2 c Mayo

2 Tbs minced pickles 

2 Tbs minced shallots

1/2 tsp hot sauce (Louisiana style is the best)

Dash salt & pepper

1 lb large shrimp cleaned & dried

2 tsp salt free Cajun seasoning 

2 TBs butter

4 rolls split

Shredded lettuce & tomatoes
For the sauce combine mayo, minced pickles, hot sauce & dash of salt & pepper. 

Season shrimp with Cajun seasoning & cook in butter in a non stick skillet until shrimp is pink. 

Toast rolls for about 5 mins. Spread mayo mixture on the rolls on each side & serve with shrimp, lettuce & tomatoes. 

Per request of my husband I fried up some jalapeños & add them to the sandwich too. 

I hope you guys enjoy it as much as we did!